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Sorry santa I've been feral

Put your balls all over me

It's beginning to look a lot like

If I were a bird I'd know who to shit on

Possum christmas

Permanently on the naughty list

Santa saw that

Howdy Holidays

Meowy Catmas

Time to spruce it up

Nappy holidays

Spacey christmas

Merry christmas ya filthy animal

Quite fawned of christmas

Hugs for Christmas

2 A.M snacks

So good santa came twice

Rollin into the holidays

Dead inside but jolly af

Doing christmas shit

Nothing for you

Sleighin all day tipsy all night

Did you try icing it

Merry scary

Im laying on your present

You should see the size of my sack

Everyone needs a little Christmas

You aint gettin shit

On the naughty list and I regret nothing

Merry trashmas

I ho ho hope you took your meds today

Look at me being all festive and shit

Tis the seasonal depression

Ho ho fuckin ho

Festive as fuck

Dead inside but its christmas

We witch you a merry christmas

Im tired of raising my Dad

Warning may contain trauma

Im tired of raising my Mom

Warning if approached will trauma dump

I dont always roll joints but when I do its my ankle

Smoke blunts serve cunt

I dont need sex my job fucks me enough

Surely not every bunny was kung fu fighting

Sometimes all you need is 500 million dollars

Ho ho holy shit what a year

Im gonna do it okay but just let me cry first